I've Tried It All. Nothing Works!

There are sure to be some people who read a blog like this and think, "Are you crazy? You don't know my kid at all! I've tried the techniques, I've read the books... nothing works!" You give choices but your child insists on the third option and tantrums without it. You try to help your children problem solve but three seconds later they're screaming and throwing toys at each other. You try to ignore the behavior but time after time it ends in your child punching your leg and biting little brother for attention. What's so wrong with spanking anyway? You'll do it respectfully, after all, you know there is a right way and a wrong way to hit children. What's so wrong with yelling and sending everyone to their rooms? It's the only way they will listen!

Listen to this. Don't give up. Children will go through stages in their development where they will be far more determined. At this point, it may not be about trying everything; it could mean just trying a couple of things and using them consistently. This way they will learn what will happen and the hope is that eventually they will stop the behavior, or learn the new one. There are some children who seem to go through the stage that never ends. The whining started when she was three, now she's eight and it's still a common occurrence.

This is what your children are learning when you choose not to spank or yell:

RESPECT
Your child learns respect for you, respect for himself, and understands that you respect her everytime you talk with her rather than at her!

TRUST
Your child learns to trust you as a listener everytime you talk to him about his behavior rather than spanking him because of it!

INDEPENDENCE
Your child learns how to handle situations on her own and develops a real sense of autonomy everytime you allow her to change, choose, or deal with a situation rather than making these decisions for her!

I know how it is, I'm a Mom and I know that life isn't easy all the time and when you are raising children there are certain challenges that will push you over the edge. When you feel ready to fall off the cliff, just stop for a second and think about how positive guidance can impact your child's future. Then go into your room and scream into your pillow. That always helps too :)