Infant Discipline

Have you ever been sitting in church only to hear the grunts and groans of the baby in your lap until you finally hear a diaper filled like a ten gun salute in the midst of a sleeping town? Have you ever been enclosed in a dressing room at the mall while a baby screams like he hasn't been fed in three days because you had to wait ten minutes for the "stroller room"? Have you ever needed to don a nursing cover in the middle of a restaurant? Then you must have been the parent of an infant.

Let's face it, anyone who has worked with infants knows that it is more difficult than it looks. There are times when you need the baby to be quiet and (please, please) cooperate. Usually these times happen at the most stressful moments for the caregiver. The question is, "How on earth do you get a baby to do what you want?"
The answer is, "You can't", at least not in ways like you could with a toddler or preschooler (which are also each different). Infants are a unique species in the human world. They look like people, they generally act like people, yet they cannot function like people. Infants do not have the cognitive ability to gage emotions of others or consider cause-and-effect and consequences. They rely entirely on those around them for food, shelter, even body heat, as their little bodies cannot properly regulate hot and cold. Infants have ways of telling adults what they need, be it through crying, smiling, or body language, like sucking on a fist. During the first six months of life, a baby will simply tell us what they want, and all we can do is respond. It isn't until about six months of age that an infant will begin to understand cause-and-effect. At that point, we can begin to slowly and simply teach behaviors and routines.

The reality is, everyone has a breaking point with children, spouses, bosses, whatever the case may be. When pushed hard enough, you will either push back or run for the hills (fight or flight). Stress is a major factor when you are a sleep deprived and emotionally enriched, as most new moms are. The key to disciplining an infant, is to discipline yourself! Keep tabs on your emotions, as it is sometimes easy to let them run away on you. Check yourself often, for fatigue, frustration, and overall satisfaction. If you find that you are tired and you cannot sleep, take a break in other ways. My toddler did not nap until he was 7 months old. Before that it was 10 minute cat naps a couple of times a day. Hardly worth closing my eyes for. I was exhausted! The key was to turn a blind eye to the raw meat on the counter waiting to be cooked for supper and the baby clothes that seemed to always find a home in my living room. Instead, I would sit with my son in the rocking chair and just look at him and hold him, reminding myself how much I had looked forward to his arrival, and knowing that this phase would one day pass. I found peace in the very being that caused me stress. If you find that you are frustrated and have no one you can call for help, check yourself and make a conscious choice for "flight". There were times when I needed to just put my son in a safe place like his crib, or bouncy chair and just walk away for a breath. One of the best ways to calm us both down was to put him in the stroller and walk around the block, sometimes several times. Some moms will even put their child in the car and drive aimlessly for hours because that is the only way their baby will sleep. This is not crazy! It's the only way to keep sane, and that is okay!
I was lucky enough this time around to have my husband to lean on and talk to about my frustrations and struggles. Such was not the case with my first boy. As a single mom I really had to bear the load alone, and that can be difficult. The best thing you can do is find someone, anyone who will listen and not judge. Use them! This is about disciplining yourself to reach out for the sake of your child.

Infants are not disciplined in the sense that you would think about discipline. The best way to ensure an infant gives you the quiet and cooperation you need is to give them everything they need! Even so, babies come with no guarantees... no return policies either. Remember though, from the mother of both an infant and a teenager, each stage of life will pass (whether you want them to or not). My best advice: Look after yourself. That baby needs you!