Obedience is for the Dogs

I came across an interesting Tweet the other day, written by Alphie Kohn. He quoted author Louise Porter: "Obedience is a fine aim for household pets, but we don't expect pets to grow up and leave home."
Parents and caregivers seem to have this underlying understanding that if children listen and obey, that we are doing our jobs correctly. Here's the thing, parenting is NOT about making our children listen to us. If the goal of graduating from childhood into adulthood is that you can obey rules, then adulthood is going to be a bit of a shocker! Sure, children need to learn that rules exist, and exist for a reason. They also need to be able to follow instruction and maintain societal norms, especially as they age. And, let's face it, a parents job is to ensure these things happen. Ensuring obedience is not the way to do it.
Giving children commands and expecting that they respond immediately is not preparing them for the real world.
"Sit!" "Fetch!" "Lie Down!" These certainly sound like commands one might give a dog, but do they not also sound somewhat like what we say to our children on occasion? TELLING children what to do and expecting that they respond is giving us what we want, but what is it doing for them? They are becoming little robots who jump on command, don't question authority, and never learn who they are in the world. Some parents might think, "What?! My child had better not question my authority! They are children, I am the adult, what right do they have to question me?" Well, in reality, they should be given every right and opportunity to question you. There are some really heartbreaking periods in our not so distant world history that took place because men and women chose not to question those in command. Encourage your children to ask "why". Encourage them to question even adults when something is happening that they feel is not right or fair. TEACH your children to become independent thinkers! One day, they will be left out in the great wide world with no one but themselves to lean on and learn from. Teach your children that to obey is not the most important thing in life. Teach them to become critical thinkers, problem solvers, and questioning individuals.